the ladies are their own enforcers.

Ow. My poor knuckles. I completely fucked over that manicure.

Next time you want to start a fight in a bar, baby, I'm not helping you out. Why are we out of ice?

Finally sober enough to say this:

Fuck alternate realities. I like this one just fine.

Also, Harvey. Will knows everything. Take that as you like.

Now I need another drink.

I hate American tourists. I know, I shouldn't, see as how I am American, but the second they cross the border, they get obnoxious as all fuck. If one more asshole in a flowery button-up shirt decides to try to hit on me using one of those shitty little Spanish phrase books, I'm going to feed him his teeth. I don't even know why they're still here. Are they too wasted to check the weather reports?

If you don't hear from us for awhile, it's because we're sitting on the roof, waiting for a helicopter to save us from the rising tide.

Beachfront property never seems like that great of an idea during hurricane season.

If I'm going to start using this thing again, I suppose I should introduce myself. I'm Shandee. I've been playing host to Gail (that's from Sin City) for a little over five years now.

Before you ask, no, I'm not a damn hooker. Feel free to make a crack about that, but be warned that I used to kill people very quietly for a living.

How's that for a first impression?

( Yeesh. )